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The Words I Mean to Say

by Nobody's Babe

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1.
Bruises 02:04
How can bruises be so beautiful? The pain of even a soft touch is so photogenic Fingertips in a panic at the sight of your flinch Black and blue all around you forgetting what to do. I have no clue How can bruises be so beautiful? Watercolor under my skin I begin once again anew We can share stories of the past few days of how you tripped, I fell once I met your gaze your eyes widen oh I've decided I must move on I sing the words back at the stage. Some boy in a band has read a page of my journal and gave it melody and rhyme. How can bruises be so beautiful? A mural on my body it comes from within I've decided I must move on
2.
Billy Joel 02:34
I am no role model I'm just a stone tossed in the sea But I am falling And I sink so effortlessly But if I could change I would turn my life into something beautiful I'm sorry. I'm just a kid I don't know when to shut my mouth The words I mean to say never ever seem to come out But if I could change, I would tell you You're worth more than I deserve Your worth could not be described in a whole Dictionary full of words I can change I'm giving life one more try I can change I'm giving life one last try I can change I'll be brave It'll be different this time You're just a kid Though it's hard to admit All we've ever had in common was Getting high and sharing Klonopin It's my last chance to change before I'm a memory Not only the good die young
3.
Rachael Hi I'm 20 and I'm in Wyoming. And life is just about the weirdest thing in the entire world. I told you I'd talk to you, but I guess you're doing something else. But that's ok because I've gotta go and play this cool ass rock show... and it's gonna be the best. I love you. I hope you're staying safe, ok? Ok. Talk to me like literally whenever. This is gonna be a very very long night for me I can already tell. Buh-bye.
4.
Aquarius 02:44
“It’s just a part of my charm” you say, My head on your shoulder “I’m not gonna go away- at least not forever. I’ll see you later” I’ve never had somebody leave like you did you do Never an impact quite like you You did, you do, and you always will. I saw the scars on your arms today I pray you feel better They don't seem to be going away And you tell me you are happy Don't lie to me I'm gonna miss these days I'm gonna miss these autumn days You're going away to chase Some big city dream Fans scream out your name Will you remember me? Late nights? Late talks When you were feeling down? Main St. Downtown I'll see you around
5.
In my white notebook Is where I wrote The hook line and sinker To my suicide note On white paper I wrote a love letter Did myself a favor I lit it on fire On white paper Is where I wrote Passages of passerbys Who believe my disguises And I wanna run away But it's this feeling in my brain That I can't escape It's forever It took me 20 years to realize You can only blame yourself No one else It took me 20 years to realize You can only save yourself Doctor Doctor Do you hear the noises? Doctor Doctor I hear voices And I wanna run away But it's this feeling in my brain That I can't escape It's forever
6.
I'll be the earthquake that rips you apart I'm just no good. I'll be the hurricane running through your brain. I'm just no good. Natural Disaster In the end before you know it, you'll have nothing left to show of it. I'll tear down your cities blow apart all your inner workings. I am the flood you watch creep up on your home I'm just no good I am the fire inside your mind you desire I'm just no good. Self Destruction Gilded or golden you just can't tell once you're under my illusive spell I'll rip you apart at the seams and convince you it's your own doing I can show you what I mean Maybe a loser is all that I'll ever be Maybe I'm nothing more to you than a reverie I'll rip you apart at the seams and convince you it's your own doing I can show you what I mean
7.
Betty Lou 02:36
I wanna be beautiful like a daisy I wanna stretch out towards the sun I wanna fit in the palm of your hand I wanna feel myself come undone Can't you see the fires burning? I'm stuck, but I shouldn't stay I'll go home yes I'll retreat Until I've been engulfed in flames But you plucked my petals Until I was no longer beautiful And you fed me acid rain Until I would burn Can't you see the fires burning? Am I no longer wonderful? This gift of life to wither and fade I've just too many thoughts to feel alive The memory still lingers I'd have to be dead to forget A shaky voice at midnight Proclaim to me that I was always right Your hands are much to Soft for a rose cliche And I've just too many thorns And I'll be tossed away I wanna be beautiful like a daisy I wanna stretch out towards the sun I wanna fit in the palm of your hand I wanna feel myself come undone
8.
All of Me 02:03
All of me was lost in you For a moment in time I know you felt it too And I can't see the line between friends and lovers and enemies But I know I what I think I see in you All of me was was drowning at sea When the tide came in I knew that was it It seems to me that turning the tablespoons Ends up with me Getting drunk on Reynolds avenue All of me once would turn to you Cause I never believed in Ghosts or dreams or prophecies I look towards the hills cause I was told that Seeking clarity Is what I need But all I really think I need is you
9.
Taurus 03:40
You left her waiting on the stairs Of the apartment complex You were waiting in your mind for some time You'd always be thinking Tossing stones into the water Too scared to go closer Exclaiming that I'll never understand I don't wanna run back the way I did I wrote letter to the free Put them in a bottle And tossed it to the east Back home I don't wanna go I'm too scared to know It'll never be the same without you dear Without you here I am the breeze in a meadow You are the moonlight When you sweep over the ocean How do you make it reflect your light? You are the harmony to Every single song I know You are a choir singing in the dark You are the smile With every single tear I'd show You are a pen waiting to make its mark
10.
Hey, it's me. I just got your text messages. Take your medication. I'm sorry you're feeling that way, but at least you've got Kellie there, I'm hoping. Ok? Give me a shout if you need to. Love ya, bye.
11.
20mg 03:35
I wanna collapse In my own skin I don't wanna Be the one to Teach myself to breathe again I wanna relapse With iron in my hand I just sick and tired of taking 20mg Just to get by To cope with life If this is the way I have to live I think I'd rather die I have no words left within me I am a hollow ground Waiting to cave in I'm drowning as I'm standing still There is no voice left within me as my lungs begin to fill I wanna collapse In my own skin I don't wanna Be the one to Teach myself to breathe again I wanna relapse With iron in my hand I just sick and tired of taking 20mg Just to get by I'm in love with the heights Take me higher and higher Take me away from all of this Let me escape I wanna collapse In my own skin I don't wanna Be the one to Teach myself to breathe again I wanna relapse With iron in my hand I just sick and tired of taking 20mg Just to get by I'd rather die than live this life
12.
Judas 03:20
What did you do In the dark of the night? Smother sun keep us from seeing light Keep it to yourself So the guilt won't swell inside you But it creeps up like the tide The thoughts and loss of life Keep it to yourself How do you sleep at night? With hands the color of crimson Never wash away What happened that day Show us your face Judas What did you expect to happen next? I'll dig my own grave Put myself away We've been betrayed Sin against us Judas
13.
"Kid" 00:15
Hey, kid. It's me. I'm just sittin' on my back porch right now watching the full moon rise over the trees. And it's really peaceful and I wanted to talk to you. So if you're not busy, give me a call. If you're busy, I understand. Bye.
14.
Boys in Blue 02:33
If you're a forest out west I'm a carving left behind my lovers A subtle scar that slowly fades away I'm a broken tail light On your long drive home The sounds on your broken radio "I don't mind the buzz But I'd much rather suffer in silence" I cannot imagine what you'd say If you could Speak to me in more than ones and zeros It's just to clear how you are Some lonely warrior Take a breath and reminisce on how the years pass Way too fast, they pass way too fast Romanticize the rings inside you Romanticize the road behind you And when you get stopped by some boy in blue You will be thinking of me and I won't be thinking of you

credits

released September 18, 2016

Music, Lyrics, Piano, Guitar, Vocals, Harmonies by Rachael Soluri
Drums by Collin Ungerleider
Guitar solo on "All of Me" by Lana Migliore
Vocals for prayer on "Judas"recited by Rachael Soluri, Gwyn Quagliana, Jillian Moczara
Editing of "Natural Disaster" by Brian Gipson
Engineered by Mike Deyo and Lana Migliore
Mixed by Lana Migliore
Mastered by Dry Hill Studios
Artwork by Sarah Waxberg

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Nobody's Babe Oneonta, New York

Rachael Soluri
Albany, Long Island, NY
Bellefonte, PA

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