The Words I Mean to Say

by Nobody's Babe

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02:04
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02:34
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02:44
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02:36
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02:03
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03:40
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03:35
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03:20
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00:15
14.
02:33

credits

released September 18, 2016

Music, Lyrics, Piano, Guitar, Vocals, Harmonies by Rachael Soluri
Drums by Collin Ungerleider
Guitar solo on "All of Me" by Lana Migliore
Vocals for prayer on "Judas"recited by Rachael Soluri, Gwyn Quagliana, Jillian Moczara
Editing of "Natural Disaster" by Brian Gipson
Engineered by Mike Deyo and Lana Migliore
Mixed by Lana Migliore
Mastered by Dry Hill Studios
Artwork by Sarah Waxberg

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about

Nobody's Babe Oneonta, New York

Rachael Soluri
Oneonta, Albany, Levittown, NY
Bellefonte, PA

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Track Name: Bruises
How can bruises be so beautiful?
The pain of even a soft touch is so photogenic
Fingertips in a panic at the sight of your flinch
Black and blue all around you forgetting what to do.
I have no clue
How can bruises be so beautiful?
Watercolor under my skin
I begin once again anew

We can share stories of the past few days
of how you tripped, I fell once I met your gaze
your eyes widen oh I've decided I must move on

I sing the words back at the stage.
Some boy in a band has read a page of my journal
and gave it melody and rhyme.

How can bruises be so beautiful?
A mural on my body it comes from within
I've decided I must move on
Track Name: Billy Joel
I am no role model
I'm just a stone tossed in the sea
But I am falling
And I sink so effortlessly
But if I could change
I would turn my life into something beautiful
I'm sorry.

I'm just a kid
I don't know when to shut my mouth
The words I mean to say never ever seem to come out
But if I could change,
I would tell you
You're worth more than I deserve
Your worth could not be described in a whole
Dictionary full of words

I can change
I'm giving life one more try
I can change
I'm giving life one last try
I can change I'll be brave
It'll be different this time

You're just a kid
Though it's hard to admit
All we've ever had in common was
Getting high and sharing Klonopin
It's my last chance to change before I'm a memory
Not only the good die young
Track Name: "I'm 20 and I'm in Wyoming"
Rachael Hi I'm 20 and I'm in Wyoming. And life is just about the weirdest thing in the entire world. I told you I'd talk to you, but I guess you're doing something else. But that's ok because I've gotta go and play this cool ass rock show... and it's gonna be the best. I love you. I hope you're staying safe, ok? Ok. Talk to me like literally whenever. This is gonna be a very very long night for me I can already tell. Buh-bye.
Track Name: Aquarius
“It’s just a part of my charm” you say,
My head on your shoulder
“I’m not gonna go away- at least not forever.
I’ll see you later”

I’ve never had somebody leave like you did you do
Never an impact quite like you
You did, you do, and you always will.

I saw the scars on your arms today
I pray you feel better
They don't seem to be going away
And you tell me you are happy
Don't lie to me

I'm gonna miss these days
I'm gonna miss these autumn days
You're going away to chase
Some big city dream
Fans scream out your name

Will you remember me?
Late nights? Late talks
When you were feeling down?
Main St. Downtown
I'll see you around
Track Name: !STOKED!ON!BENZOS!
In my white notebook
Is where I wrote
The hook line and sinker
To my suicide note
On white paper
I wrote a love letter
Did myself a favor
I lit it on fire

On white paper
Is where I wrote
Passages of passerbys
Who believe my disguises
And I wanna run away
But it's this feeling in my brain
That I can't escape
It's forever

It took me 20 years to realize
You can only blame yourself
No one else
It took me 20 years to realize
You can only save yourself

Doctor Doctor
Do you hear the noises?
Doctor Doctor
I hear voices

And I wanna run away
But it's this feeling in my brain
That I can't escape
It's forever
Track Name: Natural Disaster
I'll be the earthquake
that rips you apart
I'm just no good.

I'll be the hurricane
running through your brain.
I'm just no good.

Natural Disaster

In the end before you know it,
you'll have nothing left to show of it.
I'll tear down your cities
blow apart all your inner workings.

I am the flood you
watch creep up on your home
I'm just no good
I am the fire inside your mind you desire
I'm just no good.

Self Destruction

Gilded or golden you just can't tell
once you're under my illusive spell

I'll rip you apart at the seams
and convince you it's your own doing
I can show you what I mean

Maybe a loser is all that I'll ever be
Maybe I'm nothing more to you than a reverie

I'll rip you apart at the seams
and convince you it's your own doing
I can show you what I mean
Track Name: Betty Lou
I wanna be beautiful like a daisy
I wanna stretch out towards the sun
I wanna fit in the palm of your hand
I wanna feel myself come undone

Can't you see the fires burning?
I'm stuck, but I shouldn't stay
I'll go home yes I'll retreat
Until I've been engulfed in flames

But you plucked my petals
Until I was no longer beautiful
And you fed me acid rain
Until I would burn

Can't you see the fires burning?
Am I no longer wonderful?
This gift of life to wither and fade
I've just too many thoughts to feel alive

The memory still lingers
I'd have to be dead to forget
A shaky voice at midnight
Proclaim to me that I was always right

Your hands are much to
Soft for a rose cliche
And I've just too many thorns
And I'll be tossed away

I wanna be beautiful like a daisy
I wanna stretch out towards the sun
I wanna fit in the palm of your hand
I wanna feel myself come undone
Track Name: All of Me
All of me was lost in you
For a moment in time
I know you felt it too

And I can't see the line between friends and lovers and enemies
But I know I what I think I see in you

All of me was was drowning at sea
When the tide came in
I knew that was it

It seems to me that turning the tablespoons
Ends up with me
Getting drunk on Reynolds avenue

All of me once would turn to you
Cause I never believed in
Ghosts or dreams or prophecies

I look towards the hills cause
I was told that
Seeking clarity
Is what I need
But all I really think I need is you
Track Name: Taurus
You left her waiting on the stairs
Of the apartment complex
You were waiting in your mind for some time
You'd always be thinking
Tossing stones into the water
Too scared to go closer
Exclaiming that
I'll never understand

I don't wanna run back the way I did
I wrote letter to the free
Put them in a bottle
And tossed it to the east
Back home I don't wanna go
I'm too scared to know
It'll never be the same without you dear
Without you here

I am the breeze in a meadow
You are the moonlight
When you sweep over the ocean
How do you make it reflect your light?

You are the harmony to
Every single song I know
You are a choir singing in the dark
You are the smile
With every single tear I'd show
You are a pen waiting to make its mark
Track Name: "Hey, It's Me"
Hey, it's me. I just got your text messages. Take your medication. I'm sorry you're feeling that way, but at least you've got Kellie there, I'm hoping. Ok? Give me a shout if you need to. Love ya, bye.
Track Name: 20mg
I wanna collapse
In my own skin
I don't wanna
Be the one to
Teach myself to breathe again

I wanna relapse
With iron in my hand
I just sick and tired of taking 20mg
Just to get by

To cope with life
If this is the way I have to live
I think I'd rather die

I have no words left within me
I am a hollow ground
Waiting to cave in
I'm drowning as I'm standing still

There is no voice left within me
as my lungs begin to fill

I wanna collapse
In my own skin
I don't wanna
Be the one to
Teach myself to breathe again

I wanna relapse
With iron in my hand
I just sick and tired of taking 20mg
Just to get by

I'm in love with the heights
Take me higher and higher
Take me away from all of this
Let me escape

I wanna collapse
In my own skin
I don't wanna
Be the one to
Teach myself to breathe again

I wanna relapse
With iron in my hand
I just sick and tired of taking 20mg
Just to get by

I'd rather die than live this life
Track Name: Judas
What did you do
In the dark of the night?
Smother sun keep us from seeing light
Keep it to yourself
So the guilt won't swell inside you
But it creeps up like the tide
The thoughts and loss of life
Keep it to yourself

How do you sleep at night?
With hands the color of crimson
Never wash away
What happened that day
Show us your face
Judas

What did you expect
to happen next?
I'll dig my own grave
Put myself away
We've been betrayed
Sin against us
Judas
Track Name: "Kid"
Hey, kid. It's me. I'm just sittin' on my back porch right now watching the full moon rise over the trees. And it's really peaceful and I wanted to talk to you. So if you're not busy, give me a call. If you're busy, I understand. Bye.
Track Name: Boys in Blue
If you're a forest out west
I'm a carving left behind my lovers
A subtle scar that slowly fades away
I'm a broken tail light
On your long drive home
The sounds on your broken radio

"I don't mind the buzz
But I'd much rather suffer in silence"
I cannot imagine what you'd say
If you could
Speak to me in more than ones and zeros
It's just to clear how you are
Some lonely warrior

Take a breath and reminisce
on how the years pass
Way too fast, they pass way too fast
Romanticize the rings inside you
Romanticize the road behind you

And when you get stopped by some boy in blue
You will be thinking of me and I won't be thinking of you